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Maltese Musings #3 – Boyz II Men
It’s interesting, I think, how different nationalities’ males age differently. When I was in Berlin, for example, I found it quite striking how many of the German boys (for which I also include young men) were amazingly chiseled and smooth of skin, and yet from observational evidence it seemed as if their destinies would involve a sudden transformation into pink leather the second they hit 35.
Now, other Rob, with whom I do the Griffin Quiz, mused prior to the holiday that he’d heard Maltese Boys were hot and I remember assuring him I would verify whether or not this was true.
But actually that kind of became rather tricky. Malta’s primary industry is that of tourism, which kind of made it difficult to tell whether the guys we were (hopefully) subtly eyeing up were Maltese, foreign tourists, or foreigners who’d settled in for a bit. So basically anyone of a vaguely Mediterranean bent got lumped together into one, really.
But yes, within that category there was a certain amount of hotness it must be said.
One thing, though, to hark back to my earlier point, was that even if you did sit and decide on some alleged Maltese Boy who you thought was fit, there was always the ever present spectre of the Maltese Man to take the edge off your enjoyment. There were, on the whole, a great number of older Maltans who had a clear enjoyment of food and beer and a definite aversion to hair removal.
I generally thought I’d be too scared to get off with a guy in case I accidentally pulled a ripcord and had to watch as he suddenly inflated and sprouted new fur.
It’s a crass generalisation of course (and us Brits don’t exactly age well a lot of the time) but the observational evidence was certainly in support of the theory.
Posted on October 25, 2008 | Filed Under Holiday Excess, The World we Live In | 0 Comments
Maltese Musings #2 – Dining Out and Pizza Dodging
Now, if you’re going to eat out in Malta there’s one thing you really should expect to find above all others: Pizzerias. We went our entire stay trying – often vainly – to avoid the bloody things in fact. The bulk of restaurants you can find are, essentially, Italian.
That said, this is perhaps not entirely surprising given the following factors:
- Malta’s proximity to Sicily;
- The general lack of experimentation displayed by most British holidaymakers; and
- Malta’s sole contribution to culinary innovation being Rabbit Stew.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I like Pizza, and I like Pasta, but a week of it would probably have me trying to stove my head in with a Tiramisu. But with a little careful digging it?’s not actually difficult to find some excellent eateries covering a variety of disciplines.
Our favourite finds were as follows, so if you ever go over there I’d recommend a look-see:
Barracuda in Sliema: a very civilised place serving small yet filling main courses, delicious deserts and hangover-inducing coffees. It was so good we went twice and the swordfish is very highly recommended.
Zest in St. Julian’s: offers a mouthwatering and hearty East-meets-West Fusion menu and will forever be remembered as the place which introduced us to the local liquers, particularly one made from Prickly Pear (bottles of which returned with us).
Kitchen in Sliema: not only served gorgeous pre-prandial cocktails, had an amazing award-winning menu – I even had a vegetarian option it looked so good – but also the staff were gorgeous which is always a boon. (The waiter was probably the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen, and the women were stunning too.)
And finally, The Blue Room in Valetta provided us with what is simply the best Chinese food we have collectively ever tasted. (This was no typical Chinese restaurant with cliched decor, either, everything was supremely stylish.) Downside is that it’s probably ruined all future Chinese meals for us by setting such a standard, but hey.
There were others, I must say, but these were by far the best.
One other point, I suppose I should make though, is that outside eating is to be discouraged. Even in October the tables are beset with flies and for some reason the Maltese have a major aversion to actually taking steps to combat this. Most odd…
Posted on October 23, 2008 | Filed Under Holiday Excess | 0 Comments
Maltese Musings #1 – An Introduction
As one or two of you may know, I have returned from a most welcome break in Malta, a journey undertaken with not only a certain amount of relief after a hellish time at work, but also with the flatmate, mutual friend Mikey and – wait for it – my mad Aunt.
We were definitely an odd group, it must be said. (In fairness, Terry seemed to do quite well out of it; some people seemed convinced the three of us were her paid escorts.)
And a good time, it must be said, was definitely had by all. Malta’ s a lovely little island and even in October the sun was constant, which for me resulted in massive sunburn on the first day and the rapid purchase of a baseball cap. Thankfully this quickly settled down and I’ve actually managed a quite reasonable tan.
A couple of days were spent lying by the pool, ploughing through books (I can heartily recommend Julian Clary’s Murder Most Fab and Alan Bennett’s The Uncommon Reader, by the way), but otherwise we did a lot of walking, jumping on the disarmingly charming buses, and marvelling at the general psychosis which seems to affect the Maltese when put behind the wheel of a car.
I mean… really. They make London drivers look like law-abiding citizens.
Anyway, I’ll do a few posts over the next few days detailing the high and lowlights of our trip in the somewhat misguided notion that you may find it of interest and take yourselves off there sometime.
But ultimately, if you can cope with armies of almost pensionable tourists swarming around you (and indeed we think one or two of them had died weeks previously) then Malta certainly comes highly recommended.
I fully intend to return.
Posted on October 21, 2008 | Filed Under Holiday Excess | 5 Comments
Working from Home
What a marvellous invention this is. There are, I think, fewer greater pleasures to be found in life than emerging from your pit of a grey weekday morning and making a cup of tea at the same time you usually find yourself hoofing it for the bus in the pouring rain.
Of course, the downside is that I’ve spent the day trapped in a cold house waiting for the plumbers to arrive at some unspecified time in the morning to fix the heating. But hey.
The arrived an hour ago which somewhat stretches my understanding of the word “morning” but who am I to judge?
Happy National Customer Service Week, by the way…
Posted on October 7, 2008 | Filed Under My So-Called Life, The World we Live In | 0 Comments
And lo… the pillocks crumble…
A friend of mine on Facebook pointed me in the direction of this article by Mark Steel entitled “Quick These Bankers Need Rescuing” and I have to say I think it’s one of the best articles I’ve read in a while. (I’ve always liked Mark Steel – he’s very sharp.)
The opening paragraph sums up my current feelings on the banking crisis quite well:
The next move, presumably, will be to nationalise the country’s gambling debts. To revive confidence amongst blokes in betting offices, the Government will hand over ?Ǭ£300bn to cover the money they’ve lost. Then a leading gambler will be quoted as saying: “This package goes some way towards restoring calm. The last week has been horrendous. One of my friends lost a ton on an 8-1 shot he’d been assured was a banker by a minicab driver.”
The thing that’s currently galling me is the Prime Minister’s decision to up the guaranteed savings limit from ?Ǭ£35,000 to ?Ǭ£50,000. Which, given that the ordinary man and woman in the street was probably well covered by the previous level, means that what he’s doing is bailing out the people with lots of savings – precisely the people who have been benefiting from the dodgy banking practices they knew were shameful anyway.
So frankly I think I’m well justified in thinking “fuck ‘em”.
Posted on October 2, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 1 Comment
Paterson Joseph
Tell me, someone, is Paterson Joseph actually capable of putting in a bad performance?
From Doctor Who to Mitchell and Webb – even via bloody Casualty for Christ’s sake – and when gathering considerable critical acclaim for all his stage work, he just seems incapable of putting in a bad turn. Even when the material’s thin he manages to be mesmerising.
Most recently, when watching my freshly arrived Neverwhere DVD I was stunned to find him putting in a scenery-chewing performance which was nothing short of punch-the-air brilliant.
Genius actor. And… okay… kind of hot too.
(For a female comparison I can only grasp at Tamsin Grieg who also turns up in Neverwhere to similarly bewitching effect. Love! Her!)
Posted on September 27, 2008 | Filed Under Film, TV, Theatre | 1 Comment
TV Licencing
Now, I know I have in the past whinged about the ineptitude of the TV licensing authority, but I do strongly support the fee in principle.
Recently, Noel Edmonds announced that he hasn’t paid for his TV licence in a while (a statement which may actually not be true).
Personally I think such actions are the actions of an utter cock (because as far as I’m concerned he is) but I’m all for him doing so as long as legislation is enacted that means that people who don’t pay their licence are not allowed to appear in any broadcast media in the country. It’s a win-win situation that way.
The trouble is, though, that the news has suddenly opened up a debate about licensing again and it’s all so tedious. There’s a lot of crap about, I know. But as far as I’m concerned the following are worth ?Ǭ£140 of anyone’s money so I’m happy to pay:
- QI. It’s the best programme ever. End of story.
- Doctor Who. It’s the second best, and it keeps a number of acquaintances and an ex employed.
- The Sarah Jane Adventures. Because children need good shows too.
- The BBC News. Not perfect, but still a damn sight better than 90% of its rivals. (I mean… have you seen how shit Sky News is?)
Plus… if there’s one compelling argument in favour of the BBC being publicly funded it’s this: ITV. And, more to the point, a quick comparison of Miss Marple and Marple really does make it crystal clear.
We need this tax, people. It may be an evil, possibly – aren’t all taxes? – but it is a necessary one since it keeps one organisation in a position to save the souls of millions of TV viewers who don’t even know they need saving.
God bless you BBC.
Posted on September 21, 2008 | Filed Under Film, TV, Theatre, Musings | 2 Comments
A Question of Democracy
Much is being made at the moment of the fact that Gordon Brown is under attack from inside and outside of his own party and generally it does look like he won’t be able to hold on much longer.
I think this is all generally pretty unfair, to be honest, but there we go. That’s a discussion for another day, really.
What is annoying me though is the constant references to what will happen if he goes and that the country will then end up with another prime minister that it didn’t vote for.
Er… hello? Since when has this country voted for its Prime Minister? I think, roughly, it comes to about never. It votes for its governing party, and the leader of that becomes Prime Minister. We don’t vote for the guy at the top, it’s not the way the system works. Please, people, try and put that idea out of your heads.
So if shortly a general election is announced please don’t vote for the party based on the leader, vote for the party itself. (And if you do that, you’ll note, Cameron becomes a much less attractive option, because however reasonable he sometimes looks, the Conservative party itself is still definitely a bunch of c**ts.)
Posted on September 14, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 2 Comments
Say What Now?
Some of you will know that I have over the last six months or so joined the Cult of Apple. A now extremely well-used Macbook has become my only home PC, and recently an iPhone 3G and Airtunes have joined my arsenal of Apple products.
And I must say I’m enjoying the experience enormously. Whilst I know a lot of people find the phrase misleading (and in some particular cases a downright lie) my whole interaction with Apple and all their products can be summed up in the words “it just works”. And as a day-to-day IT professional, occasional PC builder and generally technologically clued up guy it has come as something of a relief to get home of an evening and not have to do any of that tech-support type stuff.
That said, though, the recent release of the new iPod range has left me with a slightly bitter taste in my mouth.
I mean… “funnest”? What sort of a fucking word is that?
It’s a good thing us Grammar Nazis are not really a vigilante bunch, otherwise Mister Jobs would probably find rumours of his death not so greatly exaggerated after all.
Ugh. Even thinking about the word makes my flesh creep.
Posted on September 12, 2008 | Filed Under Battles with Technology | 0 Comments
Blinding Glimpses of the Obvious #4208
Yes folks, today’s “no shit, Sherlock” award goes to the researchers who have decided that good posture is a way to combat back pain.
Thanks guys. What next: the best way to avoid a hangover is not to drink excessively?
Posted on August 20, 2008 | Filed Under The World we Live In | 0 Comments